


Event #1: Improvement Pill

by creassence



Category: AOA | Ace of Angels, Super Junior, TWICE (Band), f(x), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS, 소녀시대 | Girls' Generation | SNSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-12 00:03:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11725338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creassence/pseuds/creassence
Summary: These are the fanfictions from Creassence's first challenge; "Improvement Pill"! Each chapter is a different story from different authors, with different genres and storylines. The information will be stated in each chapter's beginning.Enjoy!





	1. Time Paradox

**Author's Note:**

> Title : “Time Paradox”
> 
> Name : Catherine Amelia
> 
> Penname : bxmi_trash
> 
> Prompt : It all started with a murder
> 
> Genre : Fanfiction, Romance
> 
> Warnings : Suicide, Incest, Profanities
> 
> Rating : 21+
> 
> Wordcount : 4123 words
> 
> Disclaimer : This is a fictional story made up with imaginary characters based on idols and personalities which do not represent actual behavior of the idol portrayed. This short story will contain mild profanities, suicidal theme used is not a way of the author to beautify nor justify this serious mental disorder. 
> 
>  

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

“Time Paradox”

 

_It all started with a murder,_

_A murder I committed by destroying his soul._

 

Running with tears rolling down my cheeks, my mind couldn’t think of anything other than him. People were already crowding his apartment area, two police officers were on guard, an ambulance was on standby and what made my head throbbing wasn’t the commotion, instead it was the way people one-sidedly whispered things as if they knew it all. Those judgmental eyes slowly turned to me when my heavy panting reached their ears. They didn’t gaze at me because of the unfamiliarity, they were looking because they knew my relevance to this misfortune.

 

“Hold on, miss. You’re not allowed to enter.” The police officer said sternly after blocking my way with his arm.

“Why? What happened in there? I need to see-“, I began stumbling on my own words, “I-I got a phone call saying that something happened to him, please.”

The middle-aged police officer saw my glassy eyes filled with anxiety, he sighed deeply before asking, “Are you perhaps a relative to the owner of Apartment 45?”

 

My heart began pounding in an irregular beat when the specific number was mentioned. At first, I refused to believe when his friends reluctantly decided to tell me through the phone, because I thought, he wasn’t that destructive. But when the truth was approaching, I got a glimpse of how was it like to be half alive. I wiped my tears away, calming myself to the point I could barely muttered the one important relation I had with him. The police officer showed me a great deal of remorse from his eyes when he knew what I was, he let me through the yellow tape line, but stopped me by squeezing my shoulders lightly.

 

“The paramedics are bringing the body down in just a minute. We need you to identify him for us”, he smiled sadly at me, “I’m really sorry, this is all I can do for you.”

“S-so, they were telling the truth? That he-“, I smacked my lips shut as tears again were threatening to fall, “That he committed suicide?”

“I’m really sorry, miss.”

 

Loud sound of rusty wheels strolling forward made me shivered. People were whispering more intensely this time as the white cloth covering the body met with the open space. Goosebumps all over their spine when an icy pale hand fell out from the white covering. My eyes immediately recognized the silver chain bracelet, it was a gift I gave him for Christmas last year, with the custom-made carving written _MYG_. The police officer informed the paramedics as they eyed me very carefully. Perhaps it was my odd slutty way of dressing, or just maybe, they sympathized with my situation.

 

“She admits to be a relative and here to confirm the identity of this body.” He turned to see me, “Are you sure you can do this?”

Gulping hard, I nodded vigorously and ignored my hoarse voice, “Let me see the body, please.”

 

One of the paramedics glanced briefly at me and calmly said to be prepared for the situation as I again only nodded. I was sick of hearing their consolation in words, I just wanted to see him. The white cloth was finally lifted, letting his lifeless yet tranquil face shown. My lips parted and breathing became uneven at the closed eyes of his, the greyish eye-bags and pink lips fading into purple with the stiffening body of his. The world seemed to stop at the moment, all the memories and time we went through together flooded my overwhelmed brain as realization washed over me.

 

“According to the report, he was found dead by his housekeeper two hours ago, probable cause was over-consumption of pills along with significant amount of alcohol in his system. The data stated he was Min Yoongi. Can you, his sister, confirm his identity?” My eyes averted to stain of foam on the side of his mouth. He overdosed.

“Miss?”

“NO! This can’t be. Yah idiot, wake up!”  My agonizing scream echoed through the merciless air, deafening those who were silently watching as my body hovered over his cold one. My hands rocked his body endlessly, hoping he would somehow wake up, putting an end to this sick joke.

“Miss, please calm down”, the police officer pulled me away from him but I resisted.

“Yah Min Yoongi, you selfish jerk“, I hiccupped loudly and stared at his peacefully stoned face, “Why?” My knees finally gave up, falling to the ground tiredly as the body was being taken away in the ambulance.

“Miss Min, I need you to calm down. Everything is going to be okay.” He tried to comfort me but I knew nothing was going to be just fine.

 

Nobody knew just how much this had me dying. They didn’t know how hard it would be for me. People already hated me for being myself, they would certainly blame me for his death, but I couldn’t care less. I knew I was worthless. The only thing that crushed me was that, I would never see his slanted eyes opened again, nor witnessing his gummy smile. My ears would never heard his deep sultry voice calling my name, the way he lovingly laughed at my not-so-funny jokes, or the fact that I would never be able to be honest with him about my true feelings.

 

How deeply I loved him.

 

* * *

 

 

Minutes turned to hours, days turned to months, but nothing was working out. My being suffocated from the isolation, yet I didn’t manage to escape the darkness emitting inside of my cracked heart. People were all over me, rubbing salt to the wound and continuously spreading venom in the form of accusation. People were calling me names, not that it was new, but one stood out and it stabbed me directly into the core of my heart.

 

They said I was a _murderer_. They said I was the reason he killed himself, because of my selfish being that destroyed him mentally and physically. I knew this all too well, I knew how this wasn’t at all a suicide, rather a murder I committed by using himself as my accomplice. Corrupting his mind with how torturing it was to be without me until he felt like going insane and ended his life.

 

Finding myself staring at the navy blue sky, my common sense was scared looking down, but my demons were embracing the suicidal side. Trembling terribly as my pale hands grabbed the cemented edge of the rooftop, I took many deep breaths while trying hard to moved my legs onto the platform. I braced myself and assured that no one actually cared, gained strength and managed to stand literally on the edge. Gulping one big lump on my throat, my mind flew to our last memory with each other.

 

I recalled the day we had our biggest and last fight. It happened a month ago, or exactly five years after Yoongi and I were nakedly caught together by our parents. The day we were disowned as their children, became an embarrassment to the people close to us and the day we finally stepped out not as siblings, but _lovers_.

“Where the hell have you been?” His authoritative voice invaded my ears as I rolled my eyes in annoyance,

“Why should I tell you? I am legal in age and I can do whatever I want.”

“(Y/N)”, he said through gritted teeth in order to hid his upset self, “I know you’re capable of doing things out of your free will, but it’s already 4 A.M. now. What if something bad happened to you and I’m not there?”

I sneered at his mature words, “Bad things _do_ happen ever since we got out of our house, _oppa_. Nothing is fine, people are talking about us, looking at us with disgust and confusion as to why we claimed to be blood-related yet at nights, they hear noises siblings aren’t supposed to make.”

“Stop talking down to me”, his eyes darkened as he walked eerily calm to where I was sitting, “So what if they judge us? They got nothing on us, baby.”

“D-don’t _baby_ me, Yoongi”, I covered my ears and avoided his gaze, “This is wrong. We are not supposed to be in a relationship like this.”

 

Yoongi didn’t state another word, instead, he pushed and laid me down as he hovered his body weight over me. He looked at me with such love and unwanted lust, caressing my cheek slowly as I melted under his touch. Leaning close while our breaths collectively made each other high of the physical tension, he began planting chaste kisses on my lips and neck, pressing our bodies against each other as I gasped at how good he was at pleasuring my hormonal state. Knowing I didn’t resist, he deepened the kiss roughly, devouring my mouth as his tongue fought for entrance. He was always the top, so I didn’t put out much of teasing and let him dominated me briefly,

"G-get off of me, we can’t do this- Ah.” He was sucking the milky skin of my neck in rhythm, leaving me breathless as he pulled up my tank top just below my breast,

“I hate it when you doubt us, baby.” He breathed against my ribcage while his lips nibbled on my weak spots. This body was a sucker for him, as if it knew he was in control. I wanted this too, but my self-conscious was finally waking up. His hand were already rubbing circles on my private and I needed to stop this sinful act.

“This will not be solved by sex”, Using my free hands, I cupped his cheeks and moved his head to face mine, “I don’t want this anymore.”

 

Pushing him off of me lightly, I pulled my clothes down and unexposed my skin as he growled in frustration. He stared angrily at me while muttering inaudible profanities, saying how could I let those vain people inside my head, how indecisive and hypocrite I was. We were both fairly frustrated at how things turned out to be, but I was the one who couldn’t stand the judgmental wave crushing at us. I knew how much he loved me, but my insecurities overshadowed my feelings for him.

“I can’t take this anymore”, I said while standing up, walking away from him as he snapped at me,

“You’re always like this”, he groaned, “Why can’t you be true to yourself instead of running away? Isn’t my love enough for you?” He let out in palpable pain as anger took over me.

“No, I am doing the exact opposite of running. I am surrendering to the righteous and giving up the wrong in our lives. I used to think I was invincible because I have you, but growing up, I realized we were foolish. We disappointed those who believe in us by pursuing this lustful-“

“Lust? I fucking gave everything up because I love you. I never once showed insincerity to you, I devoted myself to you since the beginning.” He furiously pinned me against the wall and trapped me easily,

“Your future is uncertain because I am in your way. I made your _own_ parents kick you out. I am the cause of your misfortunes. Why do you choose me? I am just a homeless orphan and you are better without me.” I cried out and hit his chest repeatedly as he stopped me by grabbing my wrists,

“There is no future for me without you in it.” Yoongi attached his lips on me once more, but with compassion. My teary eyes were making my head spin, but settled my raging heart. I thought at that time, I really should let him go, he was in too deep for me and it terrified me that I couldn’t convey the equal feeling.

“N-no. You’re in love with me”, I shakily concluded and he nodded,

“I am and I don’t regret anything. I want to be with you, only you.” He lifted my chin up and his eyes showed glint of fading hope, “You love me too, right?”

“You can’t. Why are you doing this? You’re my brother-“

“ _Bullshit_. We aren’t even blood related for god’s sake.”

Smacking my lips hard while avoiding his gaze, I let out the only thing he never wanted to hear, “Let’s end this.”

 

Rushing to our bedroom, I grabbed my travelling bag and shoved as many clothes as I could inside. Putting necessary stuff such as toiletries and money to live for a few days. Yoongi was petrified by my unexpected request before making his way towards me, rudely grabbed my bag in the process,

“Yoongi, give me my bag!”

He threw it further from me and held my upper arm tightly, “What do you think you’re doing? Are you leaving me?”

My heart was aching but it was the only way, “What else does it look like? Let me go, I am tired of being possessed by you. I am tired of having to lower my head down while being called slut and labeled as the one who committed incest.” He wouldn’t believe my lying statement, “Stop pretending to be blind, Yoongi. There is no future for us and you know it.”

 

His short panting of breath signified how terribly shocked he was to hear these painful words out of my own mouth. Tears began falling rapidly from my eyes as I once again got a grip on my travelling bag, marching towards the exit as his footsteps tried to catch up with me while yelling,

 

“I love you, (Y/N). Please don’t leave me.” My eyes widen in surprise when he confessed bluntly like that, this was the third time he said these words.

“I don’t know how I’ll survive without you, baby please.” He was crying silently, showing his rare fragile side. I didn’t dare to turn my back as I left him alone,

“I don’t care.” The last thing he heard from me was the sound of the door being slammed harshly.

 

_If I could turn back time, I wouldn’t have done the same thing. I would fight for you, for us and I’m sorry for letting you down._

 

My tears fell again for countless of times today. The evening wind was hitting my skin without mercy as I closed my eyes, feeling the coldness on the tip of my fingertips whilst arms beginning to spread, embracing the Seoul air. Frames of my memories was playing in my head, picturing only the finest highlights of my mundane life with Min Yoongi as the center of my universe. The beating of my heart went louder by the second, missing him wholeheartedly as I screamed out,

 

“I’m sorry, Yoongi. I lied about everything, I caused you to be hurt because I was afraid of what people will think about me. I didn’t cherish you because I was pointlessly ashamed of the perfect love you gave. I- I am so sorry, baby. I should’ve told you,” I chewed my lips to stop the hiccups, “My true feelings,” Taking one last deep breath,

 

“I love you-”

 

I pushed myself forward and let the darkness engulfed me.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Yoongi!” My eyes fluttered open at the sudden impact hitting my body. Panting heavily as beads of sweat glazed my skin, astonished and scared when the first thing I saw was a dull ceiling, instead of the night sky. My fingertips traced the outline of bedding I laid upon, realizing I was on top of the bed inside my motel room I rented after I got out of Yoongi’s apartment.

“How?” I was truly bewildered when I averted my eyes towards the windows, it was bright with the sun shining regularly through the glass, “A-am I dead?” I pinched myself repeatedly on my cheeks and arms, “But this hurts.”

 

Grasping the oddly familiar surrounding, I gained strength to stand up and let my feet touched the wooden floor. I gasped at how real this all seemed. I touched myself to make sure and I was still one piece, “How am I still alive? Why am I here?” Looking around, my stuff were all there. My travelling bag, the takeout food I ate last night, an empty bottle of _soju_ and my phone. I quickly grabbed it,

 

“August 12?” Goosebumps went down my spine as I squinted my eyes, even blinking a few times to adjust my vision, but it still read the same. Today was the day they supposedly found Yoongi dead from overdose in his apartment, exactly six hours from now. Realizing what was happening, I threw my phone aside in fear, “What is the fuck is happening?”

 

**Ring! Ring!**

 

I flinched at the sound of my phone ringing, staring at it for a few moments before picking it up with shaky hands. I pressed the phone onto my ear before mouthing, “H-Hello?”

 

“Finally, you picked up.” It was _Kim Namjoon_ , one of Yoongi’s best friend, “I’ve been calling you for the fourth time now.”

“Weird, you used to be the type to ignore my calls back then. How time has changed.” My mouth automatically moved on its own as I let out the sarcasm.

_I’ve said this before._

I shrieked in fear, I have had this conversation with him. This was the first time Namjoon ever contacted me after he found out about our affair. The warning which the universe told me about Yoongi’s potential suicide, but I ignored it.

“(Y/N), I am very sorry. I just- nevermind, I heard from the other guys that you decided to end things with him?”

The same pang of heartache was felt immensely as my breathing became irregular. _I was experiencing the same day all over again_ , “I did. Is that the reason you called? I should’ve known.” I sneered in frustration, “Don’t worry, I am out of his way-“

“No, (Y/N). I’m sorry, we- no I did wrong. Please hear me out first.”

At this point, my old self hung up on Namjoon, but this time I knew, I understood how immature I was at that time, “(Y/N)?”

“I’m listening.”

A sigh of relief was heard from the other line as he paused to arrange his speaking pace, “I know I wasn’t exactly there when you need me and all I did was to blame you for what happened,” _He was regretful_ , “But now, I realized things were never as it seems. We only thought of our selfish self and poured it upon you two.”

“Cut the sappy apology, Namjoon. I knew you were just trying to protect him, I get it”, I paused a bit, “But, I assume you called because of Yoongi. Is he okay?”

I swore I could hear his relieved smile, “No. He wasn’t okay. He has been absent from work, refuse to answer any of his relatives’ calls and quite distant. I reckoned this happened after you broke up with him, but I held onto my pride too highly, I didn’t ask for your help.”

“It’s okay, I understand”, I was suddenly feeling anxious, “But you are his best friend, he must’ve hinted something about his condition to you.”

Namjoon thought for a moment, “The last time he answered my call, he was mumbling rubbish, but mostly talking about how you left him for good,” I clenched my chest hard at this, “He was devastated, claiming it was his fault you’re in this position. Oh, before he ended the call, he said how it would be better for him to be gone, rather than you hating him.”

 _This was all my fault_ , I should’ve taken his words seriously instead of showing ignorance, “I didn’t want to force you into anything, but please, help him-“

My eyes were glassy as I softly mumbled, “D-do you know where he is now?” Namjoon knew I didn’t hesitate to help, finally realizing how sincere my love was for Yoongi as he informed,

“His housekeeper said he never left the apartment.”

 

 

Sprinting as fast as I could with my legs, I ignored the growing tiredness when my eyes spotted the familiar building, the apartment. My heart was beating loudly when this weird déjà vu occurred, I thought I was inside a world between dream and reality. Couple of eyes met with my rapid movements as I pressed the elevator button in a hurry. I looked at my watch in anxiety, four hours left,

“Hang in there, Yoongi.”  

**Ding!**

 

As soon as the elevator door opened, I immediately ran towards the number 45, resulting shortage of breath as I reached the door. All of this seemed surreal, as if I was just having the worst nightmare or the realest wake up call.

“God, I have no idea whether this is your doing or not, but please, let me save him.” I pressed the doorbell couple of times, but no answer. I tried knocking but again, only the resounding silence bounced back as a reply.

“Yoongi”, I softly called out as I pressed my body onto the door, “Are you in there? It’s me” Movements were heard from the inside, but it stopped again.

_Thank god, he’s alive._

“Please open the door, it’s me, baby.” Low muffles echoed against the door as I chewed on my lips, “You are probably hell mad at me, but it’s okay, I deserve it. But you need to know one thing, what I said to you a couple weeks ago was nothing but lies. I only did what I did because I thought I was in your way, I kept on feeding myself with how much you have given up just to be with me, it honestly scared me. But I know better now. I learn how to cherish your love, I can finally tell you that I,” I took a deep breath, “I love y-“

 

The door was swung open, so wide my body weight couldn’t survive from the impact. My eyes briefly met with his jet black ones, tired with a little to no more spark in it. He was wearing the flannel shirt I bought him even though he said it looked ugly. I thought I was going to stumble, but I fell right into his embrace. Letting his signature scent invaded my nose, I closed my eyes at the warmth he radiated. His hands were shaking terribly as he ran his fingers through my hair, silent sobs escaped his mouth as he engulfed me in his arms.

“(Y-Y/N)”, his voice was hoarse, “I-Is it really you?”

I buried my face on the crook of his neck and mumbled, “It’s me.”

He kissed the side of my ear while I felt drop of tears wetting my shoulder, “Baby”, he called out over and over again, “I miss you so fucking much.” He said it with such deep longing emotion as realization woke him.

“I miss you too,” I was sobbing at this moment, “I’m sorry for everything.”

We cuddled in the exact same position for some time, grateful to be with each other until Yoongi broke the silence, “D-does this mean, you’re back for good? W-with me?” He kept hugging me without daring to glance, as if he was afraid of my response.

I nodded as he continued, “We might not be able to pursue a normal relationship, people might judge us and there will be hard times ahead. A-are you sure you want to get through that with me?”

I gently broke away from his embrace and caressed his cheek, how relieved I was to be able to see him in this state again, “Hell yeah I am. You better take me seriously from now because I won’t be leaving your side ever, even if you beg me to. We’re in this together, alright?”

His lips were curling into a wide smile as he nodded, “I take that as a promise,” He happily chanted, “God, you’re so beautiful.” He planted a passionate kiss on my lips as I giggled and wiped his tears away,

“I love you, Min Yoongi.” The color on his face returned with a bright shade of pink dominating his small face,

“I love you too, baby.” He attacked me with plenty kisses but he widen our gap a bit with my hands still wrapping his slender waist, “I didn’t want to spoil the moment, but, may I ask what changed your mind?”

“Are you doubting my intention?” I pretended to be upset as he immediately became flustered,

“N-no, I- I’m sorry I didn’t mean that-“

“Relax baby.” I chuckled and leaned close to his ear,

 

“Would you believe me if I said time travel is real?”

 

 

 

**_FIN._ **


	2. Comfortable Misery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title : “Comfortable Misery”
> 
> Name : Lia
> 
> Penname : byunbao
> 
> Prompt : It all started with a murder
> 
> Genre : Fluff (?), slightly-questionable friendship
> 
> Warnings : None
> 
> Rating : PG-15
> 
> Wordcount : 1736
> 
> Disclaimer : Please pay attention to the tenses because they play an important part in this story heh and also slight profanities courtesy of Kim Minhee I’m surprised she didn’t curse Jeon out in this one. Also Jeon in real life might not be this much of an asshole cause he’s shy as heck and only cocky in front of the camera wtf. But a fangirl can dream right.

“Baby, quit blushing and focus on eating, please.”

 

“QUIT CALLING ME BABY!”

 

Jeongguk snickers into his hand before standing up from his previously sitting position, feet carrying him to the girl he just called  _baby_ earlier. The girl mentioned furiously chews the chicken in her mouth, refusing to even spare a glance at the boy who is now sitting behind her, peering over her shoulder to look at the depleting amount of chicken in the middle of the circle.

 

“If it makes you feel better, you look good in my shirt,“ he whispers into her ear, making her face go even _redder_ than before. Turning her head around, Minhee jerks back harshly when she finds Jeongguk‘s face too close to her own. She mumbles a small  _sorry_ to Yojeong who‘s sitting beside her, whose chicken was jostled out of her chopsticks when Minhee‘s head knocked into her hand.

 

“Seriously, Jeon, stop flirting with me and  _put a damn shirt on,_ " she hisses, glaring at Jeongguk‘s (handsome) face which is twisted into a huge grin right now. Minhee uses all of her willpower not to glance at Jeongguk‘s full-displayed abs, because she cannot afford to lose her pride like that and she won‘t give Jeongguk the satisfaction,  _god damnit._

 

Jeon Jeongguk has the audacity to pout, jutting out his bottom lip, red and plump and— “aww, I thought you like the view?” he says, eyes full of mirth. Teasing Minhee has become his hobby ever since he knew she responds like this to each one of his antics. It‘s cute, and Jeongguk wants to know whether he can tease her until her limits. What can he say, he‘s got a little bit of a masochist in himself.

 

Unable to deny Jeongguk‘s words because she‘s a terrible liar, Minhee opts to shut her mouth and only opening it to shove more chicken inside. Jeon Jeongguk and his words can go to  _hell_ and Minhee won‘t care.

 

“Another point for me, babe,” Jeongguk chuckles, leaning forward to kiss Minhee‘s cheek before getting up to his feet to put a shirt on because it‘s starting to get cold without one. He doesn‘t know when this teasing thing became a competition, it suddenly just is. Every time Minhee doesn‘t respond to his words, he considers it an addition to his points. Which is, always.

 

No one bats an eye anymore whenever Jeongguk teases Minhee to no end like this. He does it too many times to count, everyone wonders how Minhee is still able to take it all. But like Jeongguk, everyone also thinks the pair is cute so no one protests whenever the teasing occurs.

 

This time, Jeongguk‘s teasing started a litte bit differently than usual. It all started with a murder. An intentional one at that.

 

A murder of a white shirt.

 

They were all practicing their dance routine for their university‘s year-end performances, and Jeongguk wasn‘t even supposed to be there. He only tagged along with his roommate Mingyu because he  _knew_ Minhee was also going to be there.

 

Soonyoung had announced break time for all of them, so Minhee quickly ran to where she kept her things. After rummaging around her backpack for a while, she cursed herself for forgetting to bring her water bottle. Fortunately Soonyoung had ordered food for all of them, including the drinks.

 

Minhee went straight to Yojeong who was unpacking the fried chicken from the plastic bags, searching for her drink. When she found it, she didn‘t hesitate to tear the plastic that covered the cup because she didn‘t think she could drink out of a straw when she was exhausted like this.

 

While enjoying her iced milk tea, she didn‘t see Jeongguk approaching her, having gotten up from the couch in the corner of the room. Minhee only realized that Jeongguk was sitting beside her when he spoke.

 

“Isn‘t it bad to drink iced drink when you have just exercised?” he says, eyeing Minhee‘s cup of iced milk tea with a blank look. She knew he was always up to no good, so she was giving him a cautious look and was about to reply when his hand knocked harshly against hers, unbalancing the cup in Minhee‘s hand so the content spilled out onto her shirt.

 

She made a surprised sound at the sudden feeling of cold on the chest part of her shirt, glancing down to assess the damage. She sighed when she saw that she would have to change to avoid being cold for the remainder of the evening.

 

She glared at Jeongguk who was laughing quietly into his fist, obviously happy that his plan went smoothly as predicted.

 

“You did that on purpose, didn‘t you.” Minhee wasn‘t even asking, she was  _stating the truth_ because judging by the glint in Jeongguk‘s eyes, it was his full intent to make it happen like this.

 

Jeongguk‘s eyes went wide in faux innocence, one of his finger pointing at himself to make his point. “Baby girl, are you accusing me?” he said, shaking his head, “no way, I‘d never do that to you.”

 

“Okay first, don‘t call me baby girl, and second,  _bullshit, Jeon,”_ Minhee let out angrily, before shivering when a gust of wind from the AC hit her body.

 

“Aw, are you cold? here, let me help,” Jeongguk said before taking off his shirt in front of Minhee‘s face, making her eyes go wide at the display of Jeongguk‘s toned body.

 

Before she had a chance to ask what he was doing, Minhee already had her shirt removed forcefully by Jeongguk. She didn‘t even have the time to shout out a protest because then Jeongguk is putting his white shirt on her.

 

And Yojeong didn‘t even turn her head.

 

“There,” Jeongguk smiled, patting Minhee‘s head twice, “you won‘t be cold anymore,” he continued, before wiping the spilled milk tea on the floor using Minhee‘s ruined white shirt.

 

By the time Jeongguk finished wiping the floor, Minhee‘s face was as red as a tomato. Here she was, sitting on the floor in Jeongguk‘s shirt,  _and_ he saw her in her bra! If that wasn‘t embarrassing, Minhee didn‘t know what was.

 

“What about you, then?” Minhee asked in a small voice, glancing at Jeongguk‘s shirtless body while having her head down. Even though she was embarrassed, she knew Jeongguk just practically prevented her from being cold at the expense of himself.

 

“Don‘t worry about me, babe,” Jeongguk gave her a wink before standing up, Minhee‘s white shirt in his hand. She didn‘t even bother asking him why he was taking her shirt.

 

Jeongguk walked away towards the couch he had occupied earlier, sitting down with a satisfied smile on his face. His eyes were trained on Minhee, who was busy splitting up a pair of chopsticks to finally eat her food. The whole group had already begun eating since break time began, but Minhee hadn‘t had a chance to do so because of Jeongguk. He felt a little bad, except it was worth it seeing her in his shirt.

 

The boy sitting on the couch wasn‘t eating because he knew the rules; if you‘re not part of the group, you don‘t get food ordered for you. Jeongguk‘s group was supposed to practice tomorrow, so he didn‘t protest when no one offered him food.

 

Now, Jeongguk is fully clothed again, and currently sitting behind Minhee to bother her again, of course. When does he not bother Minhee anyway.

 

“Babe, can‘t you give me a piece? Just one, I promise,” Jeongguk whines in Minhee‘s ear, chin on her shoulder.

 

“If I give you one will you quit annoying me?” Minhee sighs tiredly, exhausted of putting up with Jeongguk‘s antics. The boy just never stops. Though she already knows that her request is futile, it was worth a shot.

 

Jeongguk hums, “no promises about that.” Even Minhee can feel the grin in his voice.

 

Taking a piece of chicken with her chopsticks, she directs it to her right shoulder, where Jeongguk‘s head is resting on. The boy accepts the food happily, immediately chewing it.

 

She waits for the  _thank you_ , but it never comes. Instead, she feels Jeongguk‘s legs go around her hips from behind, and his arms circle around her waist.

 

“Thanks, babe,” he says lowly so only she can hear, squeezing her in his arms. He nuzzles the place between Minhee’s neck and shoulder, and  _finally,_ stills.

 

Minhee lets out a sigh, continuing to eat her chicken without any more protests.

 

She feels Yojeong nudges from her left, making her look at her best friend. She raises her eyebrow to ask _what?_

 

“Are you two, like, dating?” Yojeong asks, looking at Jeongguk who‘s back-hugging Minhee. The million-dollar question is out, and Minhee doesn‘t know that the whole room is silent to know what her answer is.

 

She shakes her head. “No, but he‘s always like this,” Minhee shrugs, careful not to jostle Jeongguk‘s head, “it gets tiring putting up with him, you know, so when he‘s still like this I‘m just gonna shut up and be thankful.” She pops another chicken into her mouth.

 

Yojeong eyes both her best friend and the boy who‘s hugging her with a confused look. Minhee and Jeongguk‘s relationship is weird, indeed.

 

“If you say so,” Yojeong says, a little bit unconvinced. She shares a look with Mingyu beside her, who‘s also curious about the truth of Minhee and Jeongguk‘s status.

 

“Hey Jeon, don‘t sleep on my shoulder,” Minhee says around a mouthful of chicken, lightly patting Jeongguk‘s head. The boy just squeezes her again.

 

“But i‘m comfy like this,” he mumbles, voice slurred. He‘s getting sleepy, Minhee knows it. She runs her fingers through his hair before replying.

 

“Go sleep on the couch, Jeon,” she murmurs tiredly. Jeongguk never listens to her, she wonders why she‘s still trying to tell him what to do.

 

Jeongguk shakes his head slowly like a petulant child, before dropping a light kiss on Minhee‘s neck, making her jerk back.

 

“Don‘t do that, it tickles,” she hisses, before realizing what a bad decision it is to tell Jeongguk the fact that she is extremely ticklish. She can feel his smirk forming, and before she can do anything, Jeongguk is already peppering her neck with kisses just to make her squirm uncomfortably in his arms.

 

Everyone looks at the both of them with one thing in their minds;

 

 _Here_ _they go again._

 

* * *

 

 _wed, july 26th 2017_ _. 3.55 am._


	3. Revencher (All For You)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title : "Revencher (All for You)"
> 
> Name : Tania
> 
> Penname : tanchan
> 
> Prompt : It all started with a murder.
> 
> Genre : Angst
> 
> Warnings : Murder, Suicide
> 
> Rating : 21+
> 
> Wordcount : 4100
> 
> Disclaimer : debut nih, maapin:(

“No, please, don’t do this!”

He is lying there with both hands and feet are tied. There are bloody wounds caused by gun shots on his arms, thighs, and right side of his hip. There’s no one who can hear his plea in that dark and humid storage room, except a man with bunny mask on his face. He can only crawl with all his might to get closer to the bunny man, blood starts tainting the white floor. The bunny man only stands there. Two tiny holes are fixated to the trail of blood which he leaves every time he moves closer.

“Please, don’t kill me. I never did anything bad in the past! Why would you want to kill me?!”

A bullet goes through his left shoulder right after he says that. He lets out a painful shriek, voice echoes loudly inside the room. He stops struggling to move eventually because another bullet hits his palm. He can feel his blood flowing through the hole after the burning effect from the bullet slowly dissipates. He starts crying from fear of dying and pain that gradually grows as the times pass. He begins to feel dizzy as blood keeps overflowing from his wounds.

The bunny man doesn’t say anything. He keeps standing, hand loosely grips the gun, as he watches his victim shedding tears. He hears every bit of incoherent mumbles of plea that his victim keeps repeating like broken mantra. He seems like he’s really enjoying the bloody scene in front of him like a heartless killer he is.

“Please, don’t kill me,” he looks up to see the bunny man tilts his head. His long bunny ears are bumping into each other. “Please,” he begs weakly.

Silence embraces them after that. The only sound can be heard is the sound of heavy breathing. The bunny man wordlessly steps closer to his victim after minutes, which feel like years, pass. He crouches down right in front of his victim. He still doesn’t say anything even when his fingers roughly grip his victim’s hair, forcing him to look at his masked face. He silently presses his gun on his victim’s forehead. His victim begins to panic as he feels the muzzle touches his skin.

“No, no, please, don’t do this. Stop! Stop! Don’t pull the trigger, please,” he cries harder. His body is shaking so bad out of fear that he may pee himself. “Please, let me live. Don’t kill me.”

The bunny man only tilts his head as if saying that he is innocent. He pulls the trigger. His victim screams painfully but the bunny man only shoves the gun inside of his mouth, shooting him again. After doing that, he stands up. He watches his victim tries to hold the last ounce of his life before it flies away completely. He watches his victim looking at him with loathe swimming in his lifeless eyes. He watches his victim dying slowly and painfully. He has successfully done it.

The torture lasts for about two hours.

 

* * *

 

Jeongguk lazily played with Taehyung’s hair. He just woke up from his nap, but Taehyung was still soundly sleeping. They usually napped together in Jeongguk’s room when both of them weren’t busy. It had already become a habit that Jeongguk always looked forward to. They were so busy lately that they couldn’t do it as often as they used to. Jeongguk missed this.

Jeongguk missed Taehyung.

He stopped stroking Taehyung’s hair and moved his hand to Taehyung’s face. He lightly tapped Taehyung’s tip of nose before tracing the older male’s face with his finger. Taehyung was really beautiful and Jeongguk never doubted it. It amazed Jeongguk that Taehyung could always mesmerize him even though they had known each other like forever. Being with Taehyung since the younger male wore diaper didn’t really make any difference. Growing up with him didn’t make Jeongguk a slightest bit immune to Taehyung’s charm. It only made Jeongguk fell in love over and over again with Taehyung.

Every time Taehyung smiled, Jeongguk’s heart stuttered because Taehyung looked too ethereal to be true. Taehyung’s smile was Jeongguk’s one of most favorite things in this world. When Taehyung talked, Jeongguk couldn’t avert his attention. It was like there was no one else except Taehyung for him. As cheesy as it might sound, Taehyung was the center of Jeongguk’s universe. Jeongguk despised himself whenever Taehyung cried and he couldn’t do anything about it. He hated himself whenever Taehyung was talking nonsense because of insecurity even though he was already perfect in Jeongguk’s eyes. He loathed himself if Taehyung wasn’t happy. Taehyung’s happiness was the only thing he could ask for.

Jeongguk really loved Taehyung, but he didn’t want to say it out loud. Jeongguk was a coward. Although Taehyung had told him that his feeling wasn’t one-sided, Jeongguk was still afraid. He didn’t want to ruin his already beautiful relationship despite knowing that he was hurting himself. He was selfish for doing this because he knew Taehyung was also hurting, yet he was too scared.

“Gukkie,” Taehyung’s voice brought him back to reality. The older male sleepily grinned when Jeongguk tightened his embrace. “Good morning, Sunshine.”

Jeongguk laughed to hide his slightly redder cheeks. “Hyung, it’s almost dark outside. It’s no longer a good morning.”

“You brighten up my day though. So, you’re my morning sunshine. You give me strength to live this awful life.”

“Stop being so dramatic.”

Taehyung only shrugged. He snuggled closer to Jeongguk, head was right under Jeongguk’s chin. The younger male was shivering because Taehyung started inhaling his scent. It gave him goosebumps. Jeongguk could only close his eyes. He felt Taehyung’s lips on his skin. He was panicking inside but he didn’t want Taehyung to stop kissing his neck. It felt ticklish, yet it also felt good. Jeongguk could hear his own frantic heartbeat.

Taehyung’s lips now already pressed on his right cheek. It went up to Jeongguk’s forehead, closed eyelids, tip of his nose, and the corner of his lips. It stopped right there. Jeongguk could feel Taehyung’s warm breath hitting his lips but there was no more than that. It seemed like Taehyung had decided to end his attacks. Jeongguk’s heart was still beating so hard. He was anticipating Taehyung’s next move.

“I shouldn’t have done this.”

Jeongguk immediately opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was Taehyung’s face. Instead of wearing his usual gentle expression, the older male looked so conflicted. He retreated from his previous position to hastily stand up. Jeongguk wanted to kill himself for being the reason behind Taehyung’s action.

“Jeongguk-ah, stop lying to yourself. I really do love you, okay. We will be fine, I promise. I’ll make you happier than ever.”

“Hyung, really, I’m already happy with this.”

“Look,” Taehyung sighed, looking at Jeongguk intensely for a moment. He was examining Jeongguk’s expression, making Jeongguk felt like he was naked under his gaze. “Where do we stand, Guk? What are we?”

Jeongguk knew Taehyung was going to ask eventually, but he was still taken aback.

“Don’t you dare to say that we are best friends. I can’t be your best friend anymore,” it crushed Jeongguk’s heart. “Best friends don’t kiss each other like how we do. Best friends don’t watch each other when one is sleeping. Maybe yes, but best friends don’t love each other in the way we love each. I’ve been pretending that we are okay and yes, we can go on just like this. It turns out that we can’t. I don’t want to be selfish, but I’m starting to think that you actually don’t love me like I love you. It’s really scary, Jeongguk-ah.”

His vision was blurred, yet Jeongguk still could see how red Taehyung’s face was. He really wanted to pull the older male into his embrace, soothing and reassuring him that Jeongguk loved him as much as he loved Jeongguk. However, Jeongguk was really stunned. He didn’t know what to say. It was his fault. He was too selfish.

Taehyung took Jeongguk’s silence as a sign to leave. He took his phone and jacket before walking toward the door. Jeongguk’s world seemed like it hadn’t started rotating yet. He still couldn’t find his voice to make Taehyung stayed. Meanwhile, the older male was already standing in front of the door, fingers already gripping the door knob, ready to open it. He slightly turned around to see the speechless Jeongguk, giving the younger a sad smile.

“I’m sorry for blabbering earlier. But, I really want you to say it. I’ll come at nap time tomorrow. Sorry, Guk.”

Only when the door was closed, regret came to hit Jeongguk hard on his heart. He should have said something. He could hear his parents asking the older male from outside. He knew Taehyung was still there from the faint voice of him. He should have chased the older male and begged him to hear all of his nonsense explanations. He really should have told him that he loved him so much.

But, Jeongguk didn’t. He didn’t have any courage.

_I will say it tomorrow, I promise. I will apologize for being a coward and tell him,_ Jeongguk said to himself. He didn’t know when he started crying, but his cheeks were so wet. He wanted to nag at the tears to stop because it was nothing compared to Taehyung’s pain. The older had really endured it well and it was supposedly Jeongguk’s turn now to fix everything. Jeongguk just had to stop being so selfish and things would be better for both of them.

 

* * *

 

Jeongguk had this love-hate relationship with Sunday. He liked weekend but he disliked the day after. He disliked Monday. He woke up grumpily this morning because he didn’t get enough sleep last night. He hated himself more than he disliked Monday. Taehyung’s sorrowful face kept appearing every time he closed his eyes. He despised the sight, yet he was the cause of it. Knowing that prevented him to sleep. He could never fall asleep when Taehyung was upset though.

_It’s okay. Everything will be better soon. I’ll fix it and Taehyung will sing me lullaby. I love Taehyung’s voice,_ Jeongguk sighed dreamily.

It was about the time for Taehyung to knock the door and greet his parents; Jeongguk was fidgeting on his seat. He decided to wait for the older in the living room rather than anxiously lying down in his bed. His heart was already beating so fast. He never knew that waiting could be this petrifying. Truthfully, Jeongguk was really worried. He didn’t know whether Taehyung would forgive him or not for being such a coward, but the older said that he had waited Jeongguk to do this. It should be okay. It really should be.

Then, why hadn’t Taehyung come?

He knew they weren’t good but Taehyung rarely came late to their nap time even when they were upset at each other. Besides, it was Sunday and it was unofficially their day. Guilty started eating him at this point. He really should have run after Taehyung yesterday and admitted that he really did love him. He couldn’t blame the older male if he didn’t come today. Yet, a part of him still selfishly wished to fix their broken friendship. He really had to mend it. Taehyung was too precious for him.

Someone was knocking and Jeongguk’s heart jumped at the sound of it. He took a deep breath, calming frantic his heart beat; he was so nervous. He tentatively walked toward the door to open it. He closed his eyes to prepare whatever was coming after.

As he turned the doorknob, he half screamed, “I’m sorry fo– “

And it happened too fast.

What greeted him in the other side of the door wasn’t Taehyung’s face, but something that went through his chest and hip. It was hot and so painful. He felt another on his left thigh, then the other one. He fell, tears started streaming down from his eyes. It was really hurt. He wanted to touch the wounds but he felt something went through both of his arms. His hands went limp to his side after that.

_What is happening? I’m scared._

“Jeongguk-ah, I’m sorry,” he heard the culprit’s whisper albeit so faintly. Through his blurry vision, he could recognize the culprit as Mr. Lee, his dad’s old colleague.

“Mr. Lee,” Jeongguk choked up on his tears. He was so scared. The said man didn’t say anything but ran further inside the house. “Mom, Dad,” Jeongguk whispered, panicking. He wanted to get up, yet he really couldn’t. The burning sensations were still there and his body was aching. He couldn’t even scream to warn his parents. He was too shocked and scared.

He could hear the rustling sound and his mother’s screaming. Then, it was quiet. Jeongguk’s started crying harder and that was when he heard a familiar sound calling for him.

“God, what happened? Guk?!”

Taehyung crouched down beside him, panic was clearly written on his face. He touched the younger’s wound carefully. Jeongguk flinched when felt Taehyung’s cold hand touching his wound carefully.

“Jeongguk, who di– “

Jeongguk saw how Taehyung flinched before pressing his hand on the right side of his hip. The bullet merely scratched him but it started bleeding. He saw Mr. Lee running toward Taehyung when the older male tried to stand up. He harshly pushed Taehyung to the door and punched him really hard. He also used his gun to knock Taehyung down by smashing it on Taehyung’s head. Jeongguk could hear the sound of something cracking.

“Taehyung-ah,” Jeongguk was shaking because Taehyung looked dead. The older male had gone unconscious.

Mr. Lee turned around to face him after that. He saw sadness on his eyes.

“Why?” Jeongguk asked.

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. Forgive me for taking everything from you,” he said before shooting Jeongguk on his chest, twice this time. He dashed out after that, leaving Jeongguk alone in agony.

Jeongguk was still trying to understand the situation, yet he couldn’t think. He felt awful. He could feel every single drop of blood leaving his body and it was really unpleasant. He tried to move a bit using all the strength he could muster to see Taehyung. The older male really looked dead but Jeongguk knew he was still breathing. He felt like crying as he saw Taehyung.

It was his fault. Taehyung wouldn’t become like this if he never made something such as nap time just because he wanted to spend more time with Taehyung even though he knew they would get busier as they grew up. Taehyung wouldn’t become like this if he told the older male how he felt. Taehyung wouldn’t become like this if he could just stop being a _coward_.

Jeongguk’s world spun around after that. It was like he was floating and everything was moving so fast in a circle motion. He wanted to take Taehyung’s hand because he didn’t want to leave yet. But, no matter how hard he tried, his body just wouldn’t move. He felt even weaker and the wounds were starting to burn again. The feeling became stronger before slowly dissipating. He began to feel sleepy. He had tried to keep his eyes open though it didn’t work.

The last thing he remembered before totally succumbing into the deep slumber was his own confession.

“I love you, Hyung.”

 

* * *

 

 

The bunny mask is tossed to the pile of things he used to kill the man. There are gloves, white shirt that isn’t really white anymore, gun with its silencer, and a pair of shoes. The bunny mask falls on top of them, two tiny holes are facing him as if they are mocking him. It’s like they are trying to remind him of people he has killed behind that mask. He is surely sinful; he won’t be surprised if he’s thrown directly to the deepest hell. He doesn’t care though. He stares at them blankly before taking out his phone to make a call. He doesn’t have to wait long because the person on the other side immediately picks up.

 “Hyung, I’m done.”

“ _And here I thought you’d say that with a smile. After all this time, you can’t even accomplish a simple mission called smiling?_ ”

“It will be a waste anyway. You can’t see me.”

“ _I can hear you though, V._ ”

Hearing his code name only makes him feels nauseous. He never likes his code name. It reminds him of a smile emoticon when he can barely remember how to be happy. The only thing he knows is killing people to get closer to the man he killed today. The same man who murdered Jeongguk and his family, Mr. Lee.

“ _Why are you calling me?_ ”

“To notify you that I’m quitting.”

“ _Why?_ ” the other asks silently.

“You know my story.”

“ _Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Kim Taehyung who only wants to seek revenge for a man who took his happiness and the love of his life?_ ”

“I killed him today.”

There’s a pause and shuffling sound comes after. Taehyung hears a cough before a sigh. “ _You were the one who told us to kill him?”_

“Yes, it was me,” Taehyung calmly walks to the kitchen, opening the cabinet under the sink to get two gallons full of gasoline. He put the gallons on the cabinet. “I saved my money as I did some researches. You pay me a lot for killing people so I only needed two years and a half to achieve my goal. It made the research easier too because I learned many things from working behind that mask. I learned many ways to kill. I guess, killing people has become my specialty now.”

“ _You are one of the best guys we have here. You learn things fast too._ ”

“I’m natural at that.”

“ _If you’re already too accustomed with this job, why do you quit now?_ ”

Taehyung inhaled, eyes focusing on the gallon of gasoline. “Honestly, I’m no longer living. My life stopped when Jeongguk left me. He was my reason to life. My parents had passed away and after that, Jeongguk’s family took me in. Despite living in different house, they still gave me attention and love they thought I deserved to have. Jeongguk became my little brother, best friend, and also love. He became the center of my life.”

“ _That’s kind of cheesy, you know._ ”

“You asked me why.”

“ _My fault. Continue your story. You don’t usually have a boss who listens to your sad story every day, do you?”_

“Yes, whatever,” Taehyung snorted. “You can say that I’m just a walking shell filled by hatred and urge to seek revenge. My only goal was to kill that Mr. Lee. I joined you guys to make it easier just like I said.”

“ _You make it sounds more dramatic than it actually does._ ”

“Well, it all started with a murder to turn someone into something they’d never imagined before.”

There’s a silence after that. Taehyung takes a good look at the surrounding before him. His flat looks really plain. It’s obvious that the owner rarely comes and actually lives on it. He doesn’t even have gas stove or microwave. There’s no couch or television. People won’t know that the one who lives here is actually in his early 20s. He’s lucky that no one really pays attention to him.

“ _I allow you to quit,”_ after a quite long silence, the other mumbles. Taehyung is relieved to hear that. “ _But, you have to vanish after this. I don’t care if you want to change your identity or fly to another planet, just vanish and forget, okay? If I see you tomorrow or merely hear about you, I’ll be the one who kills you. I’m serious._ ”

“I know you are. Thanks, Hobi-hyung. It was nice to work under you.”

“ _Same here, Taehyung. Try to be happy,_ ” the said Hobi-hyung says before hanging up the call. The older male has been so nice to Taehyung since the first time he became bunny man. Taehyung wishes him to be happy instead of wishing the same thing as the older male did. He knows the older male is more capable to be happy than him.

He throws his phone into the trash bin. He won’t need the device anymore. He needs the gasoline, a lighter, a gun with or without its silencer, and a warm bath. He’s lucky that he has bathtub in this cheap flat. It helps him to ease the guilt he feels after he kills someone. Taehyung walks to the bathroom, two hands are carrying the gallons on each, to fill the bathtub with warm water. The air has begun to feel cold as it hits his bare chest. The wound on the right side of his hip starts itching and Taehyung just wants to rip it open. It reminds me him too much of that day.

The water soon has filled the bathtub in the right amount that suits to Taehyung’s taste. He’s pouring the gasoline all the way from the bathroom until the front door. He pours an extra amount on the top of things he has tossed earlier. As he does that, he remembers the hatred on Mr. Lee’s eyes. He oddly likes that. He’s glad that Mr. Lee hates him as much as he hates that old man. He won’t need to be eaten by guilt just like the usual. Besides, he wants to do this. He knows Jeongguk will probably hate him for killing people, but he has to do it.

Jeongguk will understand, won’t he?

Taehyung waltzes back to the bathroom carrying a gun and a lighter. He quickly gets into the bathtub. He doesn’t even bother to take off his pants, sighing contentedly when he feels his body being surrounded by warm water. The gasoline scent strangely smells like an aroma therapy. Taehyung must be crazy for thinking like that, but losing his significant other has made him more than insane.

It’s still clear on Taehyung’s mind how horrible Jeongguk looked on that day. Blood was everywhere. He didn’t expect something like that as soon as he stepped into that familiar house. He might expect a crying Jeongguk, but not a Jeongguk with bloody wounds lying helplessly on the floor. Taehyung was so shocked. His mind became blank. He didn’t even remember what did he ask to Jeongguk. He only remembered how the younger seemed so hurt. He hated that look on Jeongguk’s face. He was shot and knocked down after that. When he woke up, he was already in hospital. He couldn’t remember anything for two months and that was why the police dropped the case. That was why Taehyung decided to just kill Mr. Lee with his own hands.

Taehyung was blinded by hatred.

He doesn’t regret becoming a bunny man. The thing he always regrets is the fact he wasted his opportunity to apologize to the younger. He should have apologized before he lost conscious that day. He never knew tomorrow weren’t for both of them. He still regrets it. After all, his love for the younger has never once dimmed. He loved Jeongguk back then. He still loves him today.

Jeongguk is the only person Taehyung falls in love with.

He opens his eyes after that because the scent starts making him feels dizzy. He lights up the lighter and throws it to the trail of gasoline. When the fire meets gasoline for the first time, Taehyung wants to give them applause. They are so beautiful in Taehyung’s eyes. They seem like dancing, slowly taking up all of the places in that tiny flat. Taehyung starts sweating because it’s so hot. Yet, he doesn’t care. He deserves it, anyway, for killing too many people.

He presses the gun on the left side of his head after watching the dancing flame. The muzzle feels cold against his skin in this boiled room. He inhales, closing his eyes as he prepares mentally. He has planned this in the past two years. He can’t back out now. Taehyung forces himself to think the happiest thing he can imagine and Jeongguk’s smiling face pops up. The younger male seems so healthy and happy. It melts Taehyung’s heart. He misses the younger so much. He craves for him. Seeing Jeongguk’s face in this situation enough to bring Taehyung to do something he thought he had forgotten long ago, smiling. Years after that day, Taehyung finally smiles.

_Jeongguk-ah, I love you. I’m sorry._

And he pulls the trigger.


	4. カタオモイ ~ one-sided love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title : "カタオモイ ~ one-sided love"
> 
> Name : Ifah
> 
> Penname : amenoaki
> 
> Prompt : It all started with a murder
> 
> Genre : Angst, A little bit of action, mafia thingy but I think failed (idk)
> 
> Warnings : Murder, Major Character Death, Mentions of Underage Prostitution, Violence
> 
> Rating : PG-17
> 
> Wordcount : 4960 words
> 
> Disclaimer : None
> 
>  

**カタオモイ**

_Kataomoi_

 

One-sided Love

 

_“I’m hurt – so much so that my tears dry; in agony – so much so that my heart is numb._

_All I have is a rotten and tainted life, yet this one-sided love stands to be the purest thing I ever have._

_It feels very terrifying as I could die anytime._

_For you whom I dare to offer this unworthy life.”_

 

The breeze of the night was blowing. He kept running in fear while looking back at the figure that was catching up to him. He was panting, the sound of his heartbeat was caught by his eardrums. It was a dark and cold alley, the light only came from the crowded street and though it was noisy there, his own breath as well as the footsteps behind him echoed in his ears. He saw many people throng with their _yukata_ s in one direction, they were laughing and smiling happily so contrary to his condition. But the boy didn’t care – he had understood long before, his world rotated on its own axis; completely different with other people. He kicked a dustbin near him and it bumped the person behind him, slowing him down. He could hear him cursing before running toward him again. His step met with other people’s steps who were passing by but the other parties only took a glimpse of him before walking away as they didn’t want to meddle in someone’s business. The boy also didn’t want to ask for help either – he didn’t believe in the word humanity because he _knew_ how many times he screamed until his voice cracked or even lost, _no one_ would help him anyway. He couldn’t bear to run anymore, the wound in his right barefoot opened wider than before, and the blood left the trace on the ground. He was badly hurt and his body was covered with scab and bruised. _Damn, a dead end._ The boy gasped, he ran out of breath and he had nowhere to go.

 

“You son of bitch! How dare you run away from me!” the figure of a man holding a stick made of steel was coming closer. He gripped his fists as he was ready to fight though he knew his chance to win was like zero percentage.

 

“If you apologize now, I will forget what happened today.” The boy gritted his teeth. He didn’t want to be imprisoned again, he didn’t want to live by offering his body around. He was nauseated to get money by giving his ass to those flirty old men or to do a blow job for everyone who asked. He was tired to be sold by his _own father_. He wanted to be free, to live in a normal way.

 

“Like hell, I will!” the angry face was shown clearly in the older man’s face. He raised the stick and swung it in the boy’s direction, but he dodged it then he used that chance to kick his abdomen. The older man groaned and the boy was trying to run in the opposite direction but it was too late. His collar was gripped as he struggled a lot, but it didn’t use.  

 

“I should have never allowed you to wander around during noon you bastard! There’s nothing good coming from you except your body! You should be glad with _your father_ , I have been taking care of _you_ until now!” the man who addressed him as his father was strangling his neck, then he threw his body away and it hit the wall. He smirked as he felt pain sting his body. The father strangled his neck again, this time was tighter than before. He was suffocating.

 

“So, it is true! If the mother is a slut, the kid will be a slut as well!” the boy glanced fiercely. He spat in his face. It was true, his mother was a famous prostitute in the red-light district. She was sold by her parents since a young age. She had a good personality and everyone liked her, her only wish was to have a normal life like the others. So, she was happy when his father ransomed her from the brothel. She thought, she would have a normal life like what she had imagined. But his father was a bastard who liked gambling and playing around, he was only after her beauty and in the end he also sold her to make more money to pay his loans. They – both he and his mother were battered by his father, but his mother always protected him. She was nice to him and she loved him so much. But in the end, her kindness also had a limit, she chose to hang herself three years ago, when he was only seven years old. After that, he was sold by his father as a substitute for the dead wife, but the boy never blamed his mother’s death because he _knew_ that day would definitely come. He knew that his life was a misery so he chose to shut his heart, to sink it into the deepest despair, to never wish nor hope for any happiness so he wouldn’t be upset with the truth that came. He only wanted to have in a normal life – _nothing else_.

 

“You fucker!” the father was hitting him continuously, but he didn’t react, he had no strength anymore to struggle. He could feel the blood flowing from his head down as his vision became blurred. The summer night sky was so clear, the constellation could be seen expanding beautifully into his eyes, but he didn’t care to the beautifulness this world had. His life was too tainted that he couldn’t see a simple magnificence around him.

 

A sharp of metal pierced into his left thigh, his body was trembling as the dagger went deep into his skin. It was hurt yet he didn’t make a sound, he bit his lower lip until he could taste blood in his mouth – enduring the pain his body felt. He looked up at the sky; the luminescent shards stained the ultramarine sky as he tried to control his weak breath, the tears were flowing from the edge of his eyes. _So, today is the firework festival._ His body went numb as the other man was still hitting him with no intention to stop and the dagger stuck in his thigh. Everything went blurred as his consciousness went fader and fader. The sound of a revolver was suddenly heard mixed with the cacophony of the firework as the other man who was hitting him fall backward and he discerned the silhouette of a tall guy holding a revolver against the street lamp.

 

He didn’t understand what happened after that.

.

.

.

_And you put a light into my sombre life._

_Yet it’s igniting me._

 

The world kept on turning upside and down. There was no stagnation in life, it always moved on – blowing like the wind and flowing like the water. The boy who was on the verge of dying never knew or even imagined that his life would turn into 180֯, it changed in a way beyond his wildest imagination. He didn’t know the word of miracle was something real, that God _really_ existed in his life. Twenty years had passed since that night. His father died at the hand of a stranger that suddenly appeared, a stranger that gave him a light in his dark life.

 

“Ya! What are you thinking of?” a man waved his hand in front of his face, but the grown-up boy didn’t respond, his mind was busy wandering around.

 

“Woonie- _chan_!” he startled because the other person flicked onto his forehead.

 

“Ya! Kim Hee Chul!” Jong Woon flew a punch in Hee Chul’s direction, but he dodged it easily.

 

“You still need 1000 years to be able to punch me though.” Hee Chul laughed as he caught Jong Woon’s hand and twisted it. Then, he tried to kick him, but the older man repulsed it and he only let a “tch” voice, got annoyed.

 

There was a long silence, the leaves were rustling in the breeze. The sound of people talking echoed from down the stairs. They were sitting in front of an old shrine, watching people enjoy the festival. Another summer had come – another time had passed.

 

“What are you thinking anyway?” Hee Chul asked again, breaking the silence. His eyes lied on the figure beside him, someone who was seven years younger than him. That man had grown up so much in the past twenty years. The fragile little boy who used to be afraid with people had grown up and became a talented and well-known man that he was so proud to brag.

 

“Nothing.” He answered, but Hee Chul _knew_ , every time he had that kind of expression he must be thinking about the past. The past which had built a bridge that connected their lives. He was glad he could save Jong Woon, but since that time, one thing sure had been bothering him. _Is it the right choice to take care of him under his family?_ Jong Woon wanted a normal life, yet he gave him, another not normal life. His family was famous for being one of the strongest Mafia organization and since his father decided to step out from the business, he became the new boss and Jong Woon was chosen as his right man.

 

“You should choose your own path, Jong Woon. You don’t need to follow me around.” Jong Woon didn’t answer. He was staring at the night blue sky, which the burned flames sparkled in the form of stars.

 

“You are a famous and talented lawyer, you know that right? You don’t need to get involved with our family’s business anymore. It _is not_ your duty.” He was still silent, Hee Chul sighed.

 

“You don’t need to repay for anything.” The older man murmured, but the words were easily being heard by the younger. Jong Woon turned his head and faced Hee Chul who was staring the striped pattern on his _yukata_ anxiously.

 

“I’m the one who chooses this path and I’m not doing it to repay you or the old man. I know I can’t repay to the life both of you has given to me – I’m here, so I can at least help you, so I can make use this life that you offered to me.” Jong Woon knew he couldn’t repay for everything that Hee Chul and his father had given to him. Even if he gave away his life, it would not be enough. So, the only thing he could do was to stay, to stay with Hee Chul and become his shield.

 

Hee Chul gripped the edge of his _yukata_ sleeve _._ _You don’t need to do this all. You don’t owe me anything – it is you who gives me something in this life._ Hee Chul used to be able to read Jong Woon like an open book. That man didn’t have any desire in his life, he knew that the will to help him fulfil his dream was the only thing that bound him in this world. If he took that away, the younger man didn’t have even a thing to keep him alive. Hee Chul knew, _Jong Woon lived only for the sake of him_. If he asked him to die, he would do it even without any hesitation. But it was not – he never wanted him to live his life like that. He used to understand everything in his simple mind – but it had been so long since that simple mind turned to be a twisted mind, so long he couldn’t even remember the last time Jong Woon showed his true expression. That man acted like there was nothing wrong, but he knew better than anyone – a never ending storm had been destroying him from inside. He was so fragile; not only before – _he was still fragile_.

 

“That time I was dead and you offered me a new life. I choose to live for you, it is my choice! And you can’t do anything without me, right? Who was the one bragging about changing this organization though? I will help you.” Jong Woon stood up as he ruffled the older man’s hair.

 

Hee Chul was chuckling “I can’t believe you treat me like a kid.”

 

Jong Won smiled. He only had one goal in his life, _helping Hee Chuul fulfil his dream._ Hee Chul’s dream was very simple one, but it gave him so much thorns and pain, if it weren’t him who helped him that man would lose his feet and hands before reaching his own goal. Hee Chul tended to deal everything by himself. He didn’t like to put the others on the danger so Jong Woon was always there, to reach his hands out.

 

Hee Chul _wanted_ to be free from the mafia network. To turn the company that had been passed from generations to a _normal_ one. So, the future wouldn’t put their family into danger.

 

The future that Jong Woon knew he wouldn’t be there.

 

Even though he desperately _wanted_.

 

Jong Woon didn’t have anything in life, the darkness from the past had eaten everything that he had even before he claimed to own it. He had nothing except the rotten and tainted sins that were crawling in his whole body and wouldn’t disappear though he sliced his skin or washed his blood until it dried – nothing would change, the stains imprinted forever.

 

His hope was only to live a normal life and Hee Chul gave it to him yet that man also gave him something he never dared to wish.

 

_Happiness._

 

 _It all started with a murder_. If it wasn’t for it, their destiny would not cross each other or was it the inevitable one? Hence, the red string that bound between them would be last though they tried to cut the strand out until they were covered with scars and blood. It was futile.

 

They were destined to meet so one of them would fall in love.

 

Only one and it was _Jong Woon_.

 

He thought he didn’t have heart, but once he realized he had – everything broke into pieces. He had heart and he used it to love him. He loved him; so much that his heart felt nothing but pain. He loved him; so much that he was going to burst. He loved him; so much so every piece that had torn apart yearning for only one name. _Kim Hee Chul._

 

“Woonie- _chan_!” Jong Woon woke up from his absent-mindedness as he felt something was clinging his shirt.

 

“Hmm, Ryeo Wook?” an eight years old boy was staring at him suspiciously.

 

“Are you okay? You look pale.” Jong Woon shook his head as he bent his knees to make his height equal to the little boy.

 

“You should have slept instead of coming here, but _that old man_ must have forced you to come.” Jong Woon chuckled and the boy was pointing his finger to Hee Chul.

 

“How can my own son is so kind to everyone, but not to his father. Comfort me, honey!” Hee Chul pretended to cry as he hugged the woman who was laughing beside him. The boy only sighed.

 

“This is for you. I heard from father you like it.” Ryeo Wook stretched out his right arm. _Apple candy._ He remembered one year after he was taken by Hee Chul’s family, they went to firework festival and Hee Chul bought him an apple candy. It was the first time for him to taste something like that, the sweetness that melt in his mouth made him cry while eating it.

 

“Thank you.” He patted Ryeo Wook and took the apple candy from the boy’s hand.

 

“You know Jong Woon. The festival was so amazing, there were so many food stalls, mother and I bought a lot. I also tried many games that I have only seen in manga. There was an uncle who did a performance using fire, it was so amazing!” the boy was so enthusiast while talking to Jong Woon about his new experiences. His eyes were sparkling and it stopped his heart beat for a second – the eyes that he got from Hee Chul. Jong Woon never hated Ryeo Wook vice versa, he really treasured the kid. But there was time his heart ached when seeing him. The time when Ryeo Wook looked really resemble to Hee Chul. The time when he remembered the existence of his one-sided love.

 

Their family was so strict so they couldn’t wander around carelessly. It would bring danger if they went out as they wanted and lately it worsened since the changing within the organization brought many pros and contras. Many people decided to leave because they didn’t find something that they sought in the organization, they were also people who obediently follow what Hee Chul said, and also people who wanted to dethrone him. But it weren’t Hee Chul if he didn’t do things as he wanted, Ryeo Wook begged to see the firework festival and of course he couldn’t refuse his only son’s wish. Hee Chul was so cold on the outside, but in front of his family, he was so gentle. The gentleness he also showed to Jong Woon, the gentleness that killed him thousandth times.

 

“Is it okay to stay here until this late?” Jong Woon asked.

 

“It is okay. There is you and Dong Hae with me,” they were watching the little boy play firework with his mother as the man named Dong Hae was standing near them while shouting “Be careful, young master!”

 

“You should have brought more people though, you know right there are so many rats lately.” Hee Chul smiled and patted Jong Woon’s head.

 

“Too many people will attract more attention and I believe in you more than thousand bodyguards.” Jong Woon gripped his hands. He tried to control his heartbeat that went wild – and his gentleness _killed_ him once again. He loved Hee Chul; he loved that man so much that he didn’t care about anything, only his existence.

 

Hee Chul grouped with his wife and son. A portrait of a happy family that he never had but he could feel the warmness within that small family. Jong Woon dared to trade his life for the sake of the togetherness they may have forever. Jong Woon loved him, but not in a selfish and naïve way that usually was written in the books. Jong Woon loved him and he would give everything to protect his happiness. Jong Woon loved him, but he never wished to be looked back. He knew, love was not as simple as “I love you and you love me back” and he knew _he wasn’t worth to be loved by him._ People said the happiest thing in love was when someone returned back the feeling, but – it wasn’t _completely_ true. His feeling was black and blue, but he never complained, for him whose the happiness ranked as the top priority in his life. It sounded so bullshit, but it was true; and pure. He loved him so he hoped for his happiness only, not for himself. Because his feeling was unrequited one – and it wouldn’t change even though this world collapsed so he hoped for him to be happy forever thus he would be happy with his one-sided love.

 

It was hurt. He didn’t lie, he didn’t exaggerate it either. It was terribly hurt, but he couldn’t do anything except to be patient. In his life that was full with darkness, Hee Chul gave him a light. Sometimes he hoped how he never ascertained the light that he had put in his life. The light that slowly had been burning his body with an uncertain feeling. How he hoped he could paint a blank ink in a single light – how he hoped he could be kept in the darkness and never saw the light. Because the light was so terrifying; it taught him to _hope_ so he broke his heart first that a slight thought of hope wouldn’t appear again. The light was poisonous; it destroyed every synapse that was connecting neurons in his brain, it stained every drop of blood that was flowing through his veins, it crushed every function his body had. The light that named itself as _love._

 

 “Woonie- _chan_ , come here!” the woman in a cerulean _yukata_ smiled as she waved her hand at him. Jong Woon nodded his head, he was walking toward them as he observed the brown haired woman. She was nice and kind, even though their marriage was set by their families, they got along well. Jong Woon could see the sincerity and honesty in those amber marbles, he knew, that woman would give Hee Chul the happiness he couldn’t offer.

 

The noise from the crowded was still heard, people were gathering in one direction because the main event was about to be ready – a firework display. Jong Woon took a glimpse of the crowded that was clearly seen from where he was standing as he saw two familiar men amongst the crowded. _Hee Chul’s ex-subordinates, the ones that reinforced with their rival’s organization._ He immediately ran toward where Hee Chul and the rest were sitting and took off a pistol from his back without a second thought.

 

“What happened?” The woman who saw the change on Jong Woon’s face asked. Hee Chul’s eyes were examining the situation, then he made an eye-contact with Jong Woon, the younger man nodded.

 

“Dong Hae, bring _Nee-san_ and Ryeo Wook to the car and inform the household about this.” Jong Woon notified and before he finished his sentence the other man gave him a quick bob of his head. The sound of a gun was heard mingling with the blaring of fireworks, Dong Hae shielded both the woman and the child automatically. The branch of the tree fell as a sign that the bullet cut it off.

 

“Dong Hae, hurry up!” Hee Chul cried. He took the revolver from his _yukata_. _They have been tailed._ He knew, they were after him. The thing that had been taught in his passed down organization was _don’t involve innocent people_. And Hee Chul believed, his ex-mafiosos would still hold that ideal. _He was so naïve_.

 

Jong Woon saw someone in the crowded, he was ready to fire the pistol, but the man was shielded amongst innocent people. But something was off, where was the other person? And the direction of the bullet earlier was not from there. Jong Woon’s eyes were wandering as he noticed someone’s location at the bridge of the river with the gun was already directed to Hee Chul. He pulled the trigger of his pistol, but it was too late – he desperately ran to Hee Chul then he brought the other man into his hug.

 

“Are you okay?” he asked, Hee Chul nodded. The sound of the bullet hit the wood door of the shrine.

 

“You sure are taller now.” Hee Chul teased, that man really had a bad taste of joking, Jong Woon hissed – almost pushed him away before he saw another bullet came from nowhere. He brought the older man’s body and hugged him tighter as he turned around their bodies. The bullet pierced directly into his skin, the blood was coursing down and staining his shirt. He pulled the trigger of his pistol as the bullet now hit the hidden man. Hee Chul’s eyes were scanning the surrounding – aiming for the enemy and firing his revolver. Not long after that, the backup came so both of them could retreat.

 

“I will make them pay for what they did today.” Hee Chul grumbled as he was walking from the entrance of his house to the living room – he was so pissed off. Yet he realized, something was definitely odd. It looked only like they came to play around – but he knew better that those men weren’t like that.

 

“Ya! Do you think it is weird?” he asked, but the other man didn’t answer, he was standing four steps behind him. Jong Woon bit his lower lip and blood could be seen covering his pink lips – it showed how long that man already did it, his face was full with the sweats. He walked slower as he endured the pain, his vision became blurred as his consciousness diminished little by little. Hee Chul didn’t notice he got shot, that man would go berserk if he did.

 

“ _Nii-chan_.” Hee Chul stopped his footstep. _Nii-chan?_ It had been forever since he heard that words coming from Jong Woon. His heart skipped a bit, it rekindled so many things in his mind. He remembered the time when Jong Woon was so clingy to him, he was so much cuter back then. He thought he remembered now, that time when the younger stopped calling him ‘ _Nii-chan_ ’ was the same time when he couldn’t understand what was in those eagle eyes. The time when Jong Woon hid his true feeling. Hee Chul turned around with a smiling face, but that smile faded as Jong Woon’s body fell as he ran and caught him into his hug.

 

“Ya! What’s wrong?” Hee Chul asked and he smelled the metallic scent of fresh blood coming from Jong Woon’s body. He touched the younger’s back and the shirt was saturated in blood.

 

“You are badly hurt! Holy fuc- Why the hell didn’t you say anything?” Hee Chul carried him in his arms while shouting help to his servants. Jong Woon’s body was shivering, his face was so pale, he was still biting his lower lip and Hee Chul knew, _he is greatly in pain_.

 

“Sorry… I’m…. sorry, _Nii-… chan_.” He mumbled. Hee Chul tightened his hug and he moved faster to bring Jong Woon to his room. Hee Chul gradually checked the pulse on the younger’s neck and wrist while waiting for the family doctor to come. Jong Woon’s pulse got weaker and weaker and it made his heartbeat went crazy, his whole body was so stiff. Those people weren’t after him, they were after Jong Woon. And he knew – _something lethal was put on the bullet_. Hee Chul threw a punch in the empty air, if something happened to Jong Woon – his mind went blank.

 

If they weren’t cruel, cold-hearted, psychopathic, insane, or even a crazy mindfuck they wouldn’t be able to live as mafia. Jong Woon was strong and smart, his personality did really stand out, but he had one weakness – a single weakness that would make him dig his own grave, a simple weakness that would drown him into the deepest ocean. And that weakness was known as Kim Hee Chul.

 

In the world of mafia, once someone’s weakness was revealed, death would be the only thing that was going to be awaited. It didn’t matter how strong they were anymore, they would decay from the inside – the weakness ate everything and in the end, the only thing that left was a rotten body; they would die tragically.

 

Jong Woon’s weakness was Hee Chul, it was shown clearly. But in those eyes, the truth also couldn’t be hidden. The thing that was barely seen from the outside; the sparkles in his umbra eyes when he looked deep into those fierce eagle eyes, _because Hee Chul’s weakness was also Jong Woon._

 

“Sorry.”

 

It all started with a murder – so they were together, and it ended with a murder – so they were parted.

 

The circle of life was always moving to and fro. The destiny that tied their bodies wouldn’t disappear even though this world came to an end. There would be always forever in the memory that was left behind, and if one body died – the feeling was continuing alive, always. So it would fill the emptiness that leave, so it would accompany the other party that live, the feeling that would always stay so the other wouldn’t get lonely – but overwhelmed.

 

He was so frightened by the thought of being alone. He was so afraid to lose someone he held so dearly. He was scared with the hope that was rotten in his heart. He didn’t care what he had to lose, whatever he would face in the future, but losing him something was something he couldn’t bear.

 

He couldn’t do anything to stop the destiny to move even when he tried to anchor it with his body staining in blood – he couldn’t. The destiny was the only reason they met and would be the only reason too, they separated.

 

They were destined to meet so one of them would fall in love.

 

They were destined to meet – _so both of them would fall in love_

 

 

_And I will continue to love you from six feet under._

 

You have changed; you said no, but I can tell.

You are suffering –from the feeling you call it one-sided love.

I realized long before; in your eyes you portrayed me beautifully.

I pretend not to know; you may hate me or think that I hate you.

 

No. I don’t hate you but you can hate me.

I know you are broken apart; I am silently watching you suffer.

 

I give you nothing so you can live your life.

We wouldn’t have lived the way we live today;

If I had given you something.

 

I know; you are hurt.

So I am.

 

You are hurt bearing your one-sided love.

And I am hurt – dying to convey that is not one-sided.

 

I don’t give you anything.

It is you who gives me something.

 

I love you.

 

Always.

 

It is so obvious, why are you so oblivious?

 

 

**The End**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. So, Jong Woon is Super Junior’s Yesung.  
> 2\. Firework festival is hanabi festival, I was gonna use that term but I think many people who don’t like Japanese thingy won’t know  
> 3\. This is weird bc I use Korean names but Japanese setting  
> 4\. Woonie-chan is a weird thing I mixed from Woon-ie and chan  
> 5\. Nii-chan is the short term from Onii-chan, it means big brother and chan is something that was usually used by children or to show closeness  
> 6\. Nee-san is a short term from Onee-san, it means big sister and san is more polite (?)  
> 7\. Yukata is a light cotton kimono


	5. The Eyewitness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title : "The Eyewitness"
> 
> Name : There
> 
> Penname : rimakkuma
> 
> Prompt : It all started with a murder
> 
> Genre : (failed) Mystery and (failed) Thriller, I guess.
> 
> Warnings : Mild psychopatic, Murder
> 
> Rating : PG-17
> 
> Wordcount : 3224 words
> 
> Disclaimer : ALL the flashbacks were calculated from the day ‘today.’ I didn’t plan to make too many flashbacks but yeah… OTL meanwhile I tried to make this as simple as possible :/ and the tenses… gahh-_- There won’t be any boy character, mainly girls—run the worlldddd(??) lol. Happy reading.
> 
>  

  **— _Today._**

 

 

I hope I had never found the envelope. No, I hope I had not opened my locker at all, I wish I had brought all my books home.

 

There it was, _the letter._ There was also one yesterday, containing a blank paper painted with crimson color—almost bloody. I had put it back in, had given up figuring out what the letter meant. But the first letter now gone, and the second came this morning.

 

That person had managed to break my locker, two times.

 

With shaky hands, I opened the white envelope carefully, while looking around to make sure nobody was aware of my terrified state. I felt the back of my neck began to sweat, even though my hair was tied in a ponytail today.

 

I unfolded the little paper and froze.

 

There was only one word written there, but it was more than enough to make my blood ran cold.

 

* * *

 

**— _One week before._**

Silence is one of the things I contend with. I got used to the usual quiet atmosphere in the classroom; the scribble sounds or tiny chatters amongst my chair mates.

 

But this time, I really hated it. The boys were sharing nervous glances while the girls were trying to keep their tone hushed. Mr. Kim shifted uncomfortably, he didn’t want to confirm the kids what had happened, obviously. It was amazing how technology had helped the news spread to the entire school within just one day.

 

He cleared his throat, his face was solemn. “Good morning.”

 

The entire class went silent, their gaze fell to the teacher.

 

Mr. Kim cleared his throat again before speaking. “Alright. Maybe all of you already heard the news. Yoona- _ssi fell_ (he stressed the word ‘fell’ somehow) from the 6th floor. She was still in a a comma. I hope we all pray for her recovery since the final week will come within less a month.”

 

The class was too quiet, the weighing, gloomy air started to invade my lungs. Even the girls were too afraid to whisper. I believed that everyone must be thinking the same thing: it completely not made sense.

 

Most teenagers indeed experienced a great pressure of studying, which was the reason why the suicide rate in our country was into the top ten. But Yoona was a brilliant girl, she never had a problem with her study. She was the ace of almost everything; never I heard in eight months she became my classmates she ever failed a subject. On top of that, she was pretty. That’s what made her incredibly popular. In other words, a perfect person like her would never want to end her own life.

 

The lesson began with the same grim ambiance. But at least the silence was not as choking as before now.

 

But the tranquility around me was not enough to keep my mind at ease. The thoughts about every possibility of what _she_ might have done to Yoona were endlessly running until it made my head hurt. I fixed my gaze forcefully straight to my notes, writing every shit about whatever Mr. Kim was talking about because I don’t want to raise my head even once. There was an urge, of course, to look at the whiteboard or stare at the backside of her head. But I was too scared.

 

 _It must be her,_ a thought which crossed my mind uninvitingly sent a little shiver to my back. The pen I was holding started to feel slippery under my grip because of my sweating palm. I know I didn’t have an evidence this time _,_ but I was certain it was her doings.

 

“Hey, Fei Fei.”

 

The sudden tap on my desk made me jump. Oh, how I hate that name! Did she do that on purpose, to make me remember our childhood times, didn’t she?

 

I rose my head slowly, praying silently for my expression to not looked so tense.

 

The smile she gave me was formed too easily on her thin cheeks. She was charming, I must admit. But the fact that I was the only person who could see through the wide smile which couldn’t reach her cold, emotionless eyes made me feel sick. After all these times, I could imagine she had learned to fake smiles, polishing her face expressions, and trying to sound genuine.

 

Unfortunately, she’d never being sincere.

 

“Can I join you later?” she whispered with a saccharine tone.

 

_No. Stay away from me._

 

“Sure.” I smiled a little, despite the hammering sound of my own heartbeat on my ears.

 

“Okay.” This time the smile reached her eyes, but it was only a millisecond before the light in her orbs gone.

 

She really joined me at the lunch break at that day. My best friends, Mina and Nayoung, were not bothered at all. Did I ever say that Soojung was charming? She could draw people’ attention to her no matter what topic she was talking about. Her eyes would lit with seems like a pure excitement, but in fact, until now I still could not figure out what things that she was really passionate about. The image of her learning everything to blend in with people burned in my mind. It was utterly terrifying.

 

I was unusually quiet that day.

 

The same went for the next days.

 

And before I realized it, she had befriended with my friends too.

 

* * *

 

**— _One month before._**

****

 

I was not a person who believes supernatural things, but I had always trust my guts. Sometimes, there were times when you don’t understand things but somehow you can feel they will happen.

 

The bad omen; if they were strong enough and you could recognize them, you would be surprised. Soojung was the perfect epitome of it. I had known her well enough to sense whenever she was running clandestine agenda. Alas, my instinct was not that sharp to know what terrible things she would do, what else she had planned in that wicked brain of hers.

 

It was the day when the score of our mid-semester test got announced. I was eating my lunch box on my seat at the back of the class when Yoona jauntily strolling in with wide smile plastered on her face. She entered the class and squealed right away. “I got first place!” Her friends joined her squeal and congratulated her.

 

Unlike years before, Soojung failed to maintain her position. Her name which usually hanged on the top of the list was replaced by Im Yoona. That’s a first. Soojung was famous for her permanent first place since tenth grade, and with Yoona suddenly breaking her record, I think it would be pretty ugly for Soojung.

 

There was no one there but I, Yoona and her friends. The group was too caught up in their little celebration than being aware of a fox entering the room. Soojung, the bad omen, strode in with dark expression on her porcelain face. She glanced at the Yoona and her friends with intense hostility, the hate in her eyes were so evident until I almost shivered.

 

But much to my surprise, instead of turning away from the group, Soojung hastily made her way to Yoona.

 

And here’s the scariest part. I watched as her steps approaching, her facial expression turned slowly (like it was moving in slow-motion, but I swore it wasn’t) and clearly, to friendly one.

 

“Yoona- _ya,_ ” Soojung called with a small smile.

 

Yoona turned her body around and hurriedly replied, “O-oh, Soojung- _ah._ ” Her tense appearance and awkward smile were obvious. But on the other hand, Soojung, as if on cue, her body language followed her recent exuberance. She took out her hand without hesitation. “Congrats. You have worked hard.”

 

Yoona opened her mouth with mild shock. Her friends were no better, they stared a hole on Soojung as if the ebony-haired girl was growing a third eye on her forehead. Yoona quickly recovered herself and took Soojung’s hand. “Thanks, Soojung.”

 

I could not bear it for too long. I could not see the grateful smile the Yoona gave to Soojung because, hell, she believed her. She believed Soojung was sincere. Maybe I was just imagining things, maybe deep down Yoona didn’t trust her that much. Nevertheless, I just witnessed the smooth, swift transformation Soojung had did and it terrified me. She had improved too much for only two years. Well, maybe she had practiced herself long ago before I met her again in this high school.

 

I picked a right time to fix my stare back to my lunchbox beneath me since the drama was ended right there. I could hear Soojung walking towards her chair, which was before me, and stand there to open her bag.

 

I didn’t dare to look up because I was afraid to meet her empty, cold gaze. The hollow in her spheres, her true self, mixing with anything she could imitate in this world. I could not look at them again, not with these past years those eyes had appeared in my sleep, between the short naps and half-conscious slumbers.

 

I could feel her stare as if she knew that I _knew._ Maybe it was just me. But still, I could not forget the look of loath in her eyes yet now she masked it very, very well.

 

It was too much, after all this time I lived in an endless terror.

 

* * *

 

**— _Two years ago._**

 

 

Dull, monochromatic hues painted before my eyes. Grey dominated my vision; in our dark bedroom, moonlight slices peeked from the window was the only thing which gave our plain, white room a slight of color. I was used to colorless dreams like this, but this one is too dark. Not only because I knew exactly where it was, but the eerie sensation building in my inner made the images became more dreadful.

 

As soon as I opened my eyes the first thing I saw was the row of wooden bars, which was the bottom of the upper part of the bunk bed I was sleeping on. I turned my head to my right and noticed that across the room, Soojung was sleeping soundlessly on her bed. I let out a shaky, relieved breath. With little sense of complacent, thinking I was safe with sleeping in the same room with Soojung, I closed my eyes again.

 

But then something heavy pressed on my stomach. My eyes opened immediately with my mouth gasped in shock. “Soo—“

 

Soojung’s hand clamped over my mouth. “Sshh. I told you to shut up, didn’t I?” she whispered with a menacing tone. My breathing became uneven every take, and with her legs trapping my body, I saw my chance to run was little.

 

“You should not have taken my words lightly, Fei Fei.” She gave me her last sardonic smile before she took the pillow below my head and pressed it to my face.

  

* * *

 

 

I woke up, breathing heavily. My chest went up and down with my heart drumming loudly until my it hurt. I wiped my forehead and damn, I was sweating a lot. My back felt with my shirt stick to my skin due to the cold sweat.

 

The last six years I had spent with my step family was peaceful. I had lived happily, thinking I would not meet her again every day in the same orphanage.

 

I met Soojung again on the first day of school. We were classmates, which made the situation worst. Soojung coming back to my life was like a nightmare became reality. That was why those nightmares came again since I started high school, and I know it would started to haunt me again for the next three years.

 

The terror started again. And I did not know when I could live peacefully without the torment.

 

Would the nightmares stop? Would the memories disappear?

 

* * *

 

It all started with a murder.

 

In fact, it was even before that.

 

The zero point was too far from here in Seoul, and I already forgot the exact date of the murder. But I knew precisely how the incident happened.

****

* * *

 

 

**— _Ten years ago._**

****

****

I was in my old home, in an orphanage in Gwangju. The orphanage was actually nice. It was located in small vicinity near the hill, and it had small garden and playground, which the favorites of a seven-years-old kid. I remembered there were many bedrooms in the second floor, which doors plastered with a thin paper contained the name of the kids sleeping in each. Kids under four slept in the big bedrooms that could fit until thirty kids. And the older slept in bedrooms fitted six bunk beds.

 

I didn’t really remember who my friends were, but I didn’t get along really well with Soojung. I knew I was the only kid who was Chinese but I adapted quite easily because I played with everyone. Seriously, kids don’t care what race you are or what do you like. When it comes to playtime, we played together.

 

But Soojung was a weird girl. She never played with the other kids, she always sat in the corner and watching us play. I thought she was just lonely so I asked her to join us. It was just one time, though. She didn’t say a word. At all. She just stared blankly at me, and to my open hand towards her, and back to my eyes. It was awkward, and I didn’t understand why she was acting like that. So I dropped my hand and ran back to the other kids.

 

The incident was happened in the summer, my second favorite season after autumn. In summers we had many playtimes because not only we had toys and the park, we had the entire hill as our playground. I was playing and running around with the other kids, and I could not remember why at that time I separated myself from the group to follow Soojung to the forest. Maybe I did that out of pure curiosity, or maybe since I was little I indeed had a sharp instinct.

 

She was not alone, she was walking together with Park Choa. Soojung was friends with her, but I could not remember since when. They walked until they reached the bamboo bridge. I waited until they passed the bridge, but they stayed in the middle. So I hid behind bushes.

 

They talked a bit but I didn’t catch their voice clearly. The conversation then got tensed, while Soojung looked like hiding something behind her back. Choa tried hard to get it and somehow snatched it from Soojung’s hand.

 

And then, silence. Choa walked backward, but before she succeeded to reach the end of the bridge, Soojung strode to hit the girl’s temple.

 

I opened my mouth in shock. But then it was not enough. After Soojung hit her, she pushed Choa’s body that sat in the bridge, then pushed her down, to the river below.

 

The event happened so fast until I could not believe what I was witnessing. Choa cried for help, her hands rose from the water desperately. But the stream mercilessly kept drowning and dragging her body.

 

I was frozen there, not able to move a muscle. The little me was too frightened, both because I could not swim to save Choa and because I saw how Soojung killed Choa easily. When Choa’s body finally out of the sight, I looked to Soojung to see her reaction. But her reaction was the one which scared me the most.

 

Soojung stared at the river blankly. Her face didn’t contort even a bit because of confusion or panic. It was straight and cold and _so_ empty. Her hand hold onto the bridge’s edge loosely, then walked back to my direction.

 

I panicked, but instead of staying at my hiding place, I took a step back and accidentally step on the dry leaves.

 

She turned, and how fast it could be, our gaze met. She saw me.

 

She didn’t say a word. But then she made a gesture which would haunt me for the rest of my life.

Just like that. And then, she left.

 

The morning after that day filled with chaos. Everybody searched for Park Choa, the little girl who finally got herself a step family. She should be picked up for a few days, or even a week, I didn’t remember. But before she could start a new life, she was dead. Her body found at the downstream three days after a young couple visited our orphanage. Two days after she had missing.

 

In the winter, Soojung got herself a step family.

 

And I got mine in the next summer.

 

I had never met her again until high school.

 

* * *

  

**— _Today._**

 

 

I hope I had never found the envelope. No, I hope I had not opened my locker at all, I wish I had brought all my books home.

 

No, I hope I had never followed Soojung to the forest, ten years ago.

 

There it was, _the letter._ There was also one yesterday, containing a blank paper painted with crimson color—almost bloody. But the first letter now gone, and the second came this morning.

 

Soojung had managed to break my locker, two times.

 

With shaky hands, I opened the white envelope carefully, while looking around to make sure nobody was aware of my terrified state. I felt the back of my neck began to sweat, even though my hair was tied in a ponytail today.

 

I unfolded the little paper and froze.

 

There was only one word written there, but it was more than enough to make my blood ran cold.

 

“Hana- _ya_!”

 

I jolted in surprise when Mina appeared from my back. I folded the letter and shove it into my locker. “H-hey,” I stuttered.

 

Mina was not aware of my tense demeanor and continued, “So we planned to go to the beach this weekend. Wanna come?”

 

“We?” I tilted my head. _Please, please tell me that ‘we’ means just you and Nayoung. Please._

 

“Yeah. Soojung will come too!”

 

_Oh, God._

I saw from the distance Soojung was laughing with Nayoung. They were walking the hall and suddenly I could not hear anything. My brain could not work to reply the loud ‘good morning’ from Nayoung’s mouth.

 

Now it clicked. Soojung had something to keep me silent now.

 

_My friends._

My head spun, my vision blurred and then I saw blackness invaded before finally, I lost conscious.

 

I blacked out with two images kept playing in my mind like a broken cassette. The letter, and the gesture she gave me on the day she murdered Park Choa.

 

It was written—

 

_Her index finger lifted to her thin lips, and she mouthed,_

— _‘Sssshh.’_

 

 

*fin*


End file.
